When Resistance Is Getting in Your Way

Sometimes the biggest obstacle in our growth isn’t the circumstance itself—it’s our resistance to it. That internal tug-of-war, the judgment we layer on top of our emotions, and the pressure to “fix it now” can actually slow our healing, not speed it up.

Let’s talk about resistance: what it looks like, how it shows up, and how shifting toward acceptance might be the very thing that moves us forward.

Resistance: The Sneaky Roadblock

Resistance is rarely loud and obvious. It’s subtle. It disguises itself as “I just need to get through this,” or “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Resistance sounds like frustration that you’re crying again, or impatience because you thought you were over this already. It shows up as judging your feelings, trying to force a solution, or fixating on why something is happening.

You might think you’re practicing acceptance by telling yourself things like “this is just how it is”, but the underlying current is often resistance. That urgency to change, the shame about feeling broken, the inner dialogue that says, “I should be handling this better”… those are all forms of resistance.

Acceptance Isn’t Resignation

Let’s be clear: acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It doesn’t mean you stop trying to heal or grow or feel better. True acceptance is simply acknowledging what is without judgment. It says, “I don’t love this, I don’t understand it, but I see it. I feel it. And I’m not going to shame myself for it.”

You can accept that you’re anxious, overwhelmed, or struggling with trauma, and also seek tools, therapy, or support to help you cope. Acceptance and action can coexist.

The Long Road to Change Is Paved with Compassion

We live in a culture obsessed with the quick fix. But when it comes to emotional healing or personal change, there’s rarely a magic bullet. What there is, however, is the opportunity for small shifts that add up. Five minutes of playing with your dog. Practicing piano. Eating one more vegetable today than you did yesterday. These aren’t life overhauls, they’re life nudges.

And those nudges matter. In fact, research shows that compassion and resilience (not shame) are what make lasting change possible. Shaming yourself for where you are today won’t move you forward. Meeting yourself with gentleness might.

Get Curious, Not Critical

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try asking, “What’s going on in me?” That’s the difference between criticism and curiosity. And curiosity opens the door to possibility.

Maybe your emotions are rooted in something you can’t quite see yet: an old wound, an inherited belief, or a triggered memory. Maybe your current struggle isn’t even your fault. That doesn’t mean you’re powerless. It means you have the choice to approach your reality with kindness and explore what healing might look like.

Progress Isn’t Linear—And That’s Okay

Sometimes we try a new technique or coping strategy, and it doesn’t immediately work. That doesn’t mean it’s a failure. It means you’re human. Healing takes experimentation. It takes time. And it takes showing up again tomorrow, even if today felt like a mess.

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to take the next right step for right now. Not the perfect step. Not the guaranteed-to-succeed step. Just the next one.

Final Thoughts: Let the Boulder Roll

If you’ve been pushing the same emotional boulder uphill for a while, maybe it’s time to step out of the way. Let it roll. Stop resisting what is. That doesn’t mean you stop growing. It means you stop fighting your present so you can walk into your future with more clarity, strength, and grace.

Give yourself a break. Accept that this is where you are. And then, when you’re ready, take one small, brave, imperfect step toward where you want to go.

Dive more into the topic of resistance in the related episode of the Get Out Of Your Own Way podcast below.

If you found this post helpful, check out these too:

• How to Be the First in Your Circle to Get Healthy (Without Losing Your Mind or Your Friends)
• Four Ways You’re Getting in Your Own Way of Weight Loss—and How to Overcome Them
• Meditation Without the Woo: Why Awareness is the Real Game-Changer